Tuesday Tidbit

Less than 5 pages left to finish another deep edit. I'll leave it alone for a bit and then try for a quick read through to make sure I didn't delete something inadvertently. Yes, I've done that.

The Right to Choose

As I continue and grow closer to finishing the revisions for "A Promise of Possibilities," I question why the story focused on some things. Gradually, I remember why.

In 2007, a stranger emailed. She'd been reading the fanfiction I was writing with a friend, a romance for Frodo, from "Lord of the Rings." She suggested I try writing a historical romance for popular publisher's new inspirational historical romance line. My first thought was that I couldn't possibly. It was one thing to write a story with established characters and setting. It was something else again to write all new material. It didn't take long for the thought to niggle in: Why not?

I gave it a try and was rejected, outright, a form letter. I'd tried not to get my hopes up, but I had and was crushed. I entered the story in a contest and received feedback from three judges. Some of the feedback was useless, i.e., criticizing words that were too old. Clearly, the judge didn't read Regency romance as I used words with which I was familiar from the numerous Regency romances I'd read. However, one judge was incredibly helpful, pointing out my bad habit of head hopping, jumping from one point of view to another without any transition. Now, I've read this in other multi-book authors, without difficulty, but I re-read my manuscript and could see how it might be a problem. So, I re-wrote the story.

At the time, I still wanted to publish with the same company, even though it had been sold to a new publishing house, so I changed the title and revised the character names, hoping no one would notice it was the same book because it wasn't. It was better. I sent the first three chapters. They asked for the full manuscript.

I kept reading books from the publisher but noticed the basic premise of their stories was changing. Instead of smart men and women struggling with life and relationships, many of the stories portrayed the women as "I can do anything" shrews and the men as eye candy but stupid. Suddenly, my story was with a publisher I no longer admired. Now what?

What if they wanted my manuscript? What would I say? Would I be willing to compromise?

I'd spent my whole life compromising to please abusers. I'd been through two rounds of counseling already. I prayed they would reject my manuscript so I wouldn't be faced with the temptation of saying yes. The next day, I received a polite email stating my manuscript didn't quite fit their company. I had too many characters - one of my favorite books was "Lord of the Rings" with nine heroes, of course, I valued a lot of characters. My story was also too political - wait, what? Maybe it was that tried to remain true to the values of the time, i.e., instead of dropping a 21th century protagonist into an early 1800s setting without benefit of time travel. Something I dislike. Women didn't have a lot of options at the time and pretending otherwise is grossly dishonest. Besides, I was addressing my abuse victim mentality; abuse victims don't have a lot of options either.

Which brings me to what my story was really all about. I embraced the opportunity to explore the right to choose, within the Regency time frame. In the 21st century, anything goes, no boundaries. It isn't healthy. I wanted the structure of learning to choose with boundaries, but I wanted to explore healthy boundaries, especially within a relationship that is closer than any other but one's relationship with God.

From time to time, I've lost sight of that goal. I'm back on track, exploring the wonder and joy and sometimes painful journey of learning to choose, to growing from abuse victim to abuse survivor to thrivor.

Tuesday Tidbit

I needed to make some formatting changes, a time-consuming process as each page must be checked to ensure the computer program did what was asked. Computers are not smart; computers are fast. Computers are not fast when the human eye and mind must check the work done, especially since computer mistakes are often tiny, a missed period. Yes, I've put in a period and had the computer remove it or fail to save it despite being set up with autosave. Not to mention grammar is often wrong, so if I mess it up I can't count on the computer to catch it. Worse is when the computer thinks it is smarter and tries to correct grammar that is already correct. Every day is a step closer to re-publishing "A Promise of Possibilities."

Tuesday Tidbit

Once again checking formatting and things like double spaces, extra spaces at the end of a paragraph or between quotation marks and a word, all those little details.

Tuesday Tidbit

I have been impatient with myself and my snail's pace progress, until I discovered a name switched, the last name first and first name last. Corrected. Thanks God for helping me find those little errors.

Tuesday Tidbit

By God's grace alone, I've finally started the final read through. I fear I'll forever find little things to change and never truly finish. I am trying. Surrendering everything to God sounds so easy and so isn't.

Tuesday Tidbit

Re-writes done. One more read through for continuity and minor errors.

Tuesday Tidbit

Finally accepting I'm going to have to stop allowing my imperfections to get in the way of doing what the Lord has asked me to do. Four chapters to go. To God be the glory, not me. I am nothing without Him.

Tuesday Tidbit

Found more mistakes. Thanks God for encouraging me to go through the manuscript one more time, giving it to You. I couldn't have done this without You. Any mistakes found will be mine.

Tuesday Tidbit

Re-reading and working on formatting.

Tuesday Tidbit

Yes, I'm still working on "A Promise of Possibilities." I keep finding typos, and ways to improve the story. In truth, I think the Lord is endeavoring to help me lose my ego. Pride is a brutal taskmaster. I want to give God the glory but notice pride sneaking in. I'm trusting God to help me know when the story and I are ready. It does feel good to work on it every day.

Tuesday Tidbit

I wrote this on SM, back in 2014. I just lost control of "Tarnished Knight." If you ask your characters what comes next, you can't complain when they take things into their own hands and bring in reinforcements. I look forward to re-publishing each book.

Tuesday Tidbit

Finally able to work on manuscript again without wanting to trash the whole thing. However, it required doing some cutting and re-arranging. If I get stuck, others will get stuck. Working to improve readability.

Tuesday Tidbit

I keep thinking it's July.

A Needed Reminder

June 16, 2015  ·
What Do I Write?

Perhaps this is long overdue. I've spent a great deal of time endeavoring to find an "elevator pitch." The idea is to create something you could say to an agent or editor that would interest them in your book if you managed to hop on an elevator at the same time, such as at a convention.

I read my first romance novel when I was 19 years old. I read avidly for years, but I missed the faith aspect. Christian romances were difficult to find, at the time. To be honest, I wasn't impressed with them when I could find them.

I found a few authors I loved, Janette Oke and Elizabeth Mansfield. Mansfield didn't write Christian, but she did write clean Regency romances. As much as I enjoyed them, I had trouble identifying with the characters.

Christian romances were so...clean. I'm an abuse survivor. My life's messy.

I quit reading romances for a number of years. Picking up a romance novel after so many years was like finding an old friend. As I read, I wished there were a little more faith in God.

As I struggled to decide where I wanted to take my own stories, I drifted closer and closer to Christian romances. I knew it would be an uncomfortable fit, but less uncomfortable than attempting to cut my faith from the stories in my heart.

I checked the parameters of writing Christian romance and ran into trouble right off. Heroes and heroines are required to be honest. It's all right if they tell lies before they fully embrace Christianity and even to tell the occasional white lie if there's a good enough reason.

Among other things, abuse survivors lie. Lying is a necessary survival tool.

I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior at an early age, long before the abuse ended.

I was in my 40s before I realized how much I lied.

There were the every day lies that most people tell: How are you? "Fine." Not fine at all, but I wasn't willing to explain.

Then there were the lies I didn't even know I was telling: Everything from, "If I were more patient, more understanding, less judgmental, everything would be good," to "I'm stupid," "I'm useless," "I'm not lovable." Delving into those lies unearths an endless supply.

I think denial was probably the most common lie I didn't recognize.

My lying did not exclude me from growing in faith, but it was a stumbling block.

I wanted stories that reflected the journey of abuse survivors, the fight for self, the fight for the truth, the fight to be healthy. The ultimate adventure of finding healing for self and finding someone with whom to share the quest for love of self, sweetheart, and God.

I chose to write the Christian romances I wanted to read. Being Christian isn't about a life of sweetness and nice; choosing Jesus promises hope.

The weakest flame is still stronger than the dark.

Tuesday Tidbit

Amazon is making changes, the end of this month, so waiting to move forward.

Tuesday Tidbit

Every writer feels like a fraud, sometimes. Rather than trash everything, it's a good idea to take a break.

Tuesday Tidbit

Correcting a few more errors.

Tuesday Tidbit

Five chapters to go.

Tuesday Tidbit

Twenty chapters read through, with little changes. Sixteen chapters to go.