Easter is a time of renewal. Jesus changed everything.
As an abuse survivor, including my mother's scapegoat for years, I've spent most of my life in survival mode. I'm not sure I really know how to live any other way.
First, I have to believe that God never intended me to live in survival mode my whole life. My Heavenly Father provided His Beloved Son as a sacrificial price for my sins, pain, illnesses, weaknesses.
In 2021, my father became ill and shared it, unintentionally, with me. Having read and heard about the nature of the disease, I didn't expect to survive. I was older, extremely overweight, struggled with kidney trouble my whole life as well as digestive problems that required hospitalization and a special diet. I wasn't afraid to die. I welcomed the promise of peace at last. God had other plans.
It took months to recover with a few side effects still unresolved, years later.
Reading a friend's post on social media, I realized the illness threw me back into full blown survival mode. The gradual improvement of my health hasn't reduced survival mode.
I'm acknowledging my inability to find peace and health on my own and surrendering everything to God.
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