I admit I like having themes for every day. It helps on the days when I'm not sure what to write. Then there are times when I feel confined by the regime. I'm doing some thinking, reconsidering, evaluating, and planning.
Why I like routine: Being a C-PTSD survivor, routine is good. It gives me continuity, a touch stone of sorts. It gives me a starting point. The thing about falling down and being right back at the bottom, again, is that I know the territory and I know what to do. There is only one direction to go. Up. I know the way. It's somewhere along the route that I'm tripped up. I'm improving.
Why I don't like routine: I become stuck in a rut. I fail to see possibilities that are right in front of my nose because it isn't what I expect to see. It's also difficult to break out of the routine because it really does change everything.
Over the last year, my routines have been shaken, shredded, shattered, twisted, and turned on their head. It's wearing. I create a new routine, and it goes up in flames as life sends another curve ball. Blessedly, I'm handling the changes better than I did not so long ago. More than once, I ended up sitting on the floor rocking and crying because I was so overwhelmed by everything. That hasn't happened it a long while. Thanks God.
I'm able to look back and see where things important to me, like writing, sat on the shelf almost untouched as I struggled to make it through each day. My brain wasn't simply on vacation. I didn't have two brain cells to rub together for a coherent thought beyond what comes next. I gained weight. My exercise routine lacked consistency. Sleeping was erratic. Blessedly, God gave me awesome friends who have been rocks through the insanity.
Now, life is finding a new normal. (Normal is a setting on a dryer, but I need to start somewhere.) My exercise routine is healthier than it's ever been in that I'm not pushing too hard too fast, but I am working toward increasing what I do. My sleep habits are greatly improved. Even my eating is healthier than it's been in I don't know how long.
With the basics settling, I'm working to create new writing habits. My Holiday, USA series are a way for me to ease back in, flexible and fun. I also have some ideas bubbling for a new Regency series, new stories, new characters. Thanks to my readers for sticking with me. Thanks be to God for seeing me through.
