Storms lead to more brainstorms...

Shuffling notes, yesterday, and following an encouraging presentation, I've discovered a need to see, overall, where the story is and where it is going. I'm not so much a planner. I know people who are and am all kinds of impressed that they have that ability. Not my gift. I'm a panster, ie, writing by the seat of my pants. I enjoy the way the story takes a totally unexpected turn. It isn't easy to surprise yourself, but in writing it's possible. It's fun. That being said, I also recognize that I can't continue to wander aimlessly through this story. A bit of direction is in order, so this afternoon's writing is to give some form to my notes.

I'm endeavoring to learn that when things happen, beyond my control and out of reach of my power to do anything, it's wise and good to turn it over to God. Not easy for someone who feels a bone-deep need to be in control.

The other day I was asked, "Do you believe you're going to heaven?" It isn't a question I contemplate often. I figure God will decide. But I was asked, so I searched my heart, and decided that yes, I do believe I'm going to heaven. Then I was asked, "How do you think you'll make it?" I'm learning to stop and think before answering a question, but the answer was right there, "Because of my Savior. Look to God and Live." Finally I was asked if there were those who would not go to heaven and why. "God is the Judge, not me, and I'm so grateful it isn't my decision." I'm learning what I believe, down to my soul. I'm at peace with it.

Notes....

With more storms threatening the valley, I'm posting early today. It means shutting off my computer, so I'll be interviewing characters and taking notes and fleshing out backgrounds. During the brainstorming session the other day, I was asked what the parents did, and I realized I didn't know. How did I miss that? So time to fill in some blanks. I'm thinking it might also help with forwarding the story.

Praying for rain, but also praying that the storm isn't too severe. Never hurts to ask.

Unexpected help...

I did work on my WIP, yesterday, with help from writing friends. Thank you, Deena, Ann, Varina, and Natalie! It truly helped! And thanks to Chey for the impromptu brainstorm session and encouragement. Today, I'm adding what we brainstormed to my WIP.

As to what I'm doing with only a little work to do, I've been doing a bit of making order out of chaos. It feels good. Thanks to God for inspiration.

Back to work...

I enjoyed a quiet Sunday and didn't think about writing, anything. There are several books in my TBR pile that are in various stages of reading. These are the ones I read a little at a time and then think about before going on to the next paragraph, page, chapter, depending on how much time I need to think about what I've read.

Today, it was back into the WIP and it's coming along again. Problem solved.

This was in my quotes, today: "Love and laughter, not a sorrowful resignation mark real acceptance of My Will."--Two Listeners. Turning my life over to God is scary. Really scary. I'm not very good at it, but I am working on it. This gives me something specific to work on improving.

Timing...

I figured out the problem. Timing. My heroine informed me that it wasn't her timing that was off, it was mine. Now, it makes perfect sense why she's showing up in the scene. I found that this is frequently a problem. I'm frustrated with stories where the hero and heroine sit down in an expensive restaurant, have a ten minute conversation, and dinner is over. I've rarely been served in that a mount of time, let alone eating the whole meal, while talking with someone. I fret over taking too long or not long enough for an event or between encounters. An error either way can be distracting.

The bright side of missing the National Conference is that I'll have no excuse to not spend a lot more time writing. So, here's to the little bumps and bubbles God throws into life and seeing them as a blessing.

Another twist...

Right in the middle of my hero's introspection, the heroine showed up. What? Why? I don't know. Part of my writing time, tonight, will be spent interrogating my heroine. I have this sense that I was dragging my feet, and she grew impatient, but she needs to come up with a better excuse than "I was bored." Though, I must confess, she may be right about it dragging.

This morning, I discovered my bread-and-butter client will be out of town, all next week. Hrmph. I could have gone to Nationals, the RWA (Romance Writers of America) conference, in Orlando. Now, it is within my power to pout and grouse and feel miserable or explore the possibilities God has opened before me. I prefer the sound of the latter.

A bit of review...

After the unexpected turn in the WIP, I decided I'd better review what I'd written to be certain the continuity was intact. It is. I also took the opportunity to tighten scenes as I went. I have a habit of writing as if the reader is able to see what's in my head, forgetting that if I don't write it, the reader doesn't know it.

God's blessings: I didn't think I'd be able to do much writing, tonight, at least not what I had planned because of possible storms. I watched the storm's progress, and it looked like we were in for quite a bit of excitement. I enjoy storms, but they make me nervous as well. I worry about my electronic devices. I know really bad things can happen to me because they have. There was a lot of work to be done, and it had to be finished first. By the time I was ready to move onto my writing, the storm was "here." But it wasn't. The storm had split and gone around my city. I'm grateful. Another day, the storm will not pass, and that's a good thing. We need the rain. I needed this little miracle, today.

Still writing...

...every day. And the WIP is becoming something I'm really enjoying, instead of something I HAVE to do because it's niggling at me all the time. Perhaps a better word would be nagging me all the time. The hero is still center stage, and I like him more and more. He brought up the scripture where the Lord tells Saul, "It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks." How much have I been kicking at the pricks? More than I want to admit. My counselor would point to the wall to remind me that some things I try to control are truly out of my hands, but if I really I want to, then I'm welcome to bang my head against the wall because it will have the same effect.

Looking out my window, it's dead calm. Watching the weather radar, I wonder if it's the calm before the storm, literally. The sun setting in the West spotlights the palm trees across the way, while all else is in shadow. Amazing.

Unexpected turns...

Once again, the WIP is continuing to take a direction of its own. I hadn't planned to focus on the hero, but he has insisted. And I'm rather pleased he did because I like what he's revealing about himself.

Also spent a bit of today working on an entirely different project. Me. Exploring what I believe. Amber Scott does a Motivational Monday, and I decided to give it a try when she suggested visualizing what I want, including what it will feel like, taste like, sound like, smell like, for ten minutes every day. I thought I should visualize being a successful writer. It simply didn't work for me. Then I decided to visualize myself as healthy. Wow. I'm endeavoring to learn to keep my mind and heart open to the possibilities because God is not limited by anything when He sends inspiration, except my willingness to receive it.

Amazing what a day of rest brings...

Edited a bit of the current WIP, then asked the question, "What comes next?" Not what I expected! I started writing, and it was something I hadn't even considered. There is that part of me that wants to ask, "How did that happen?" I mean, it comes back to that odd sensation of telling THEIR stories not MY stories. But it's a little weird, so it's back to the writing, and not questioning too deeply. :-) Then again, I'm not sure why I'm surprised considering the fact that the last scene included dialogue that simply showed up. I think it's been in the back of my head, literally for years, and it finally found a place it fit. Please, nobody ask me to edit it out. :-D

Day of rest...3

I'm glad I decided today was a day to rest, particularly as my mind seems to be on vacation anyway. Looking back over the week, I was able to work through some sticky spots, do some re-writing, and editing to the point where I'm quite pleased with what was accomplished.

This week, I've also made the decision to more fully hold myself accountable for my health and welfare. God gave me this body, and it is my job to give the proper care and attention. If I don't know what to do, then it's my responsibility to learn. God has blessed me with a whole world of people who are willing to share what they've learned. He has also blessed me with a brain and inspiration to recognize what will help me and what will not, not to mention the right to explore, make mistakes, and make different decisions. If God expected me to be perfect, He wouldn't have provided the Atonement.

No storms, yet...

The storms passed to the north and south. I worked on the current scene, last night, critiquing and re-writing. Today, I picked up where I left off, and now I'm quite happy with it. I think I'm ready to move on. I'm sorting through my notes on scenes I want to include and deciding which I'll use. It's time to ask my characters "Where do we go from here?"

Interestingly enough, I'm starting to realize that very question is one I must ask myself, but I don't. I wonder why. My first reaction is that I'm afraid of the answer, but am I? Or am I selling myself short? Is it perhaps simply that I'm constantly asking the question, without conscious thought? Every day, I make so many decisions without thinking about them. I think with some decisions it makes no never mind what is chosen, but there are those key moments that lead me where I want to go or away. Making God a part of my daily life makes some of the decisions for me, and opens the way to some difficult choices because it is a choice between two good things. I have to wonder: if I don't know where I'm going, how will I know when I arrive?

Storms?

With potential storms in the forecast, this evening, I'm posting early. I'll either work on the computer, my personal preference, or on paper, if the storm actually blows in. I'm continuing the current scene, at this point.

Word to the wise: It's been six years since lightening struck close to home, and the charge blew up the processor in my computer. If I'd unplugged it, maybe it would have been all right, though I don't always remember to disconnect the cable to my modem, which was also fried. An experience that is still fresh in my mind. A mixed blessing as well. I'd only owned the computer a year, but I really didn't like it. There is that part of me that wonders if God was answering my prayers of frustration. I could have done without all the drama. Yes, I was hysterical. Not one of my finer moments, and definitely not a particularly strong example of faith. Granted, I was seriously stressed, as my job was at stake. I was richly blessed. I remember that even better. My heart still swells at the thought of the miracles that happened in my life in that turbulent time. So, when I hear someone say that anger and frustration are bad emotions and I should avoid such unpleasantness, I question and have to say no, that's wrong. The joy and peace God blessed me with because of loving friends was all the greater because I was lifted from the darkness of despair to the light of love.

Another day and no further along...

I re-read the most recent scene and though I like it overall, it's lacking, so I've spent the afternoon (after the pay-the-bills-work PTBW was done) re-writing. No, not re-writing but filling in details, making it more "real."

Perhaps I should mention that I have completed one book, already. It's an inspirational historical novel, in need of some serious re-writing. I think it's biggest flaw is point of view. Unfortunately, my tendency to jump around was painfully emphasized in print.

Which brings us back to the current WIP. Trying to keep to one point of view (POV) at a time in a section means I'm re-reading and re-evaluating, asking myself questions like "What the hero/heroine really think that? Or is that something the other person would do? Would they really be able to 'see' that?" I've always hated it when the POV person seems to be able to magically read the mind of the other person in the scene. Stop it! So, I comb my writing carefully now, for stray bits of displaced magic.

The miracles God provides may seem like magic, at times, but I hesitate to call it that, lest it be misconstrued. One of my favorite quotes is "Fill your pockets full of miracles." It's been a long time since I took that challenge. Maybe it's time again.

Delightful surprise...

Woke this morning with edits in my head and the continuation of the scene written yesterday, without all the nagging and grumbling. :-) I'm pleased with it.

My gratitude to another friend, who investigated how to permanently post my abbreviations and their meanings, then shared it with me. Done.

I could never accomplish what I have without an enormous amount of help from many wonderful people. The world is full of amazing people. Thank God I've been blessed to know so many.

Busted...

What do you do when you've already worked on another project, earlier in the day, and then your bill-paying work runs long, and you decide enough is enough and it's time to relax? I thought I'd catch up on a bit of reading, but what do I hear nattering in my head but my the hero and heroine from my current WIP whining, "You can't simply leave us here, in this horribly awkward situation. You promised, last night, you'd figure a way out. So, what's up? You have to help us..." And on and on and on. Fine. They are now written out of their awkward situation, and funnily enough, they're quite happy, until tomorrow, anyway. Try to take a little break and end up busted by my characters. It's embarrassing, being called on the carpet by your characters. Worse, I suspect it will happen again. *sigh*

God provided a gorgeous sunset, tonight, one of those priceless gifts. Learning to be grateful is also a gift, one I'm endeavoring to cultivate.

Onward and upward....

I did a bit of re-writing on the current WIP and it works better now. While I was working out the conflict issue with my current WIP, I found myself writing snatches of dialogue for a new WIP involving one of the characters in the current WIP. Yes, it can be incredibly confusing. And people wonder why writers seem so eccentric. How do I ever explain about the sister of the hero, who has decided to tell me more about her life, and because she's talking, her hero has presented himself to give his support, and the background info is helpful -- to a point -- but isn't pertinent to the current WIP, but in order to get it out of my head, I have to write it down because her voice simply grows louder and louder, demanding attention, and I'm unable to continue with the current WIP until I at least start her story, so she'll give me a little peace, maybe... you get the picture. It's difficult enough feeling crazy without anyone suggesting I am because they don't "get it." Odder still is the reminder that God blessed me with this gift. God has a sense of humor, no doubt about it.

Day of rest...

Being the Sabbath, I decided to take a rest. I know that my subconscious will continue to work, but giving my mind a break from the daily cares allows me to re-evaluate my priorities and plan changes, if necessary. It's only been one week since I officially started this adventure, and I know I've made progress, in several areas of my life.

Lesson learned: Not long ago, I began adding lavender to my pancake mix, first out of curiosity and then because I really liked it. This morning, I forgot. I was nibbling on my test pancake and thought it terribly bland. The second pancake was already cooking. Instead of simply accepting the lack, I hurried and added a bit to the rest of the batter. Delicious! It's all right to change things part way through.

And: One of my nieces helped me experiment with makeup and hair styles. She possesses an innate talent for fashion from the top of her head to her toes that eludes me. We didn't do anything major or what I would consider alarming. It was the little things she taught me how to do that made me feel like I could manage this outward change. Little things make a difference.

God provides all that is good in life.

Houston, we have a problem....

As I worked on my WIP, today, I learned something disconcerting. I finished an emotional scene, and was writing a relaxed scene, only to feel like it was dragging. It dawned on me that there has been no conflict between my hero and heroine. None. Eureka! Aha! The proverbial light bulb! Oh, no! I hate conflict. I like my hero and heroine. Maybe they're a little too perfect. Well, now what? I quietly put the thought on the back burner. At least, that was the plan, except that with my new determination to move forward that is no longer an option. Standing still opens the door to the risk of being run over by Life. Best to keep moving. So, I've spent the day mulling over possibilities. I haven't actually created a solid plan, yet, but I'm not allowing it to hold me back either. It might be time to ask them, again, "What's next?"

It isn't easy turning one's life over to God. It's quite frightening. He does not see this Life as we do. I see this moment, a coming together of all the past moments, and struggle to hope for the future. However, God sees it all, past, present, future, all at once. This whole life thing isn't about Him testing me. He already knows. I call this the Abraham/Isaac principle. God knew what Abraham and Isaac would do, when asked to make that horrible sacrifice. Abraham and Isaac needed to know what they would do. God knows what I will do. He knows me from the beginning. I have forgotten. I need to remember. Life is about remembering who we are.

Life happens...

Managed to finish all my work, that's the pay-the-bills work, and then had unexpected company of the good variety. A thoroughly enjoyable evening, but not much time for writing. No excuses. I'd been worrying about determining what time of year it is. Now it's decided. Also accomplished a bit of editing. Every little bit is another step forward.

A quote for the day: "All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible." ~ T.E. Lawrence

Scripture for the day: Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."