Thank God...

It finally came together, all those new bits and old bits, and it's so much better! There are only a half dozen paragraphs of the old material left that need to be re-worked. I thought about cutting them, but again there was too much material that needed keeping. So, it's back to mulling it over. Having what comes before it in order will hopefully lend itself to guiding what comes next. We'll see.

The horrible, awful, very bad day, and then...

...you learn someone's days was far worse than yours. Every day, I endeavor to fight the good fight, but like everyone, sometimes I'm simply too tired. So, I take a little time to sit and rest, then pick myself up, usually with a hand up from the Lord, and start moving forward once more. THE PROJECT is feeling a bit overwhelming at the moment. That will change. I'm not too worried, yet. It's a bit of a struggle when I'm feeling like I'm playing catchup with the regular everyday events. I also admit that though I like the new perspective on THE PROJECT it feels almost too much, and yet, when I attempt to edit, I find nothing to cut. Endeavoring to lay it at God's feet, but wondering if He wants me to simply pick it up and run with it as hard and fast as I possible can... perhaps the question is do I have the courage within me?

I'm finding the long work day...

...the ones that are PTBW, difficult to accomplish anything beyond work, at least recently. I was able to add to THE PROJECT, today. Interesting to have thoughts of my WIP creep in. Poke.

You know it's going to be a difficult day when...

...it takes more than twelve hours to do work that usually takes only six hours. By the time I finished my work, my brain was done. I cut myself a break, and curled up with a book, but I didn't stop thinking about THE PROJECT. I realized that part of my recent struggle is that I liked my original idea, but I also liked the knew idea, and yet choosing one or the other simply didn't feel right. So, I'm choosing both. This is going to be a little tricky, weaving the two ideas together, but I think it will also be richer for the effort. Back to work. PTBW feels like work, but THE PROJECT lifts me, but only if I stay true to its purpose. I'm writing it for me.

New Beginning...

With the new plan in mind, I returned to the beginning to see how much would need changing. A word here and there, only because they'd been forgotten or misspelled. The prologue and first chapter are done. The second chapter will require more work because that is where the planned officially changed, but already things have been re-arranged and are falling into place. Back to it, tomorrow.

Shifting gears...

Though I think I prefer the new track, I'm not as sure of it as I was the first. I seem to be a little slow in changing my mind set. I am continuing the research for the new path, but it's less clear, more work. Cheryl Wyatt said, "God's way isn't the easy way." She's right.

Sigh... hate when this happens...

It's all mapped out. It's clear in my head. I know where it's going and how to reach the intended destination. Full speed ahead! Then I do a little research. Sigh. My brilliant plan is flawed. No surprise there. I'm human. I make mistakes. Now, I could continue to beat myself up ad nauseum, but what would it accomplish? Delay. What good is that? Not much. So, I'm regrouping. The new plan is already falling into place, and I actually like it much better. Thanks God for leading me to the point where we could make a course correction. Awesome.

THE PROJECT progress...

The prologue, Chapter One, and Chapter Two are complete. Chapter Three is partially written, and a few of the later chapters are partially written. It's taken a slightly unexpected turn, and yet it's been leading this way all along. I simply didn't recognize it until I was on top of it. This feeling of one thing leading to another is why I write.

More editing...

The previous editing was material I'd added and then decided didn't actually fit. Today's editing was all about finding the correct tenses, spelling, coherency. I'm enjoying the reading, that feeling that this is right and good.

What happened to the last few days?

It isn't that I've abandoned THE PROJECT or even been overwhelmed by it, despite its best effort to consume my life. I've worked on it, every day. I wake up thinking about it, and go to sleep thinking about it. My work is interrupted by thoughts of it. My leisure reading and watching television are also interrupted by it. I endeavor to give it the attention it demands, then it wants more. The last few days, I've added to it, but I've also done some extensive editing and research. That's really far more impressive than it seems on the surface because my brain has essentially been MIA. Blessedly, the week-long headache has passed, but trying to focus is a bear. All things considered, I'm not actually frustrated. I do feel privileged that God would see fit to guide this work, and I do feel that He is, for my deepest desire is for this work to lead one person to God. That person may be me, but God loves us each so much, Christ's suffering, death, and resurrection would have happened even if it all was for only one person, but He did it for all of us. A gift. The question is: Do you accept it, or not?

Obviously, I took a couple days off...

...at least, from posting here. I did not take time off from writing. The opening to THE PROJECT is complete and an outline is forming. PTBW has been shuffled to the side more than once because my mind was filled with what comes next. This, I did not anticipate. It's gradually taking over my life, and oddly enough I don't feel a bit bad about it.

Review...

I shared with my counselor a bit of what I've written for THE PROJECT. It was interesting. I've seen plenty of advice from the publishing industry that dictates that one must write what will sell. In THE PROJECT, I've fretted over whether or not what I've written is salable. I was advised that it is more important to write what will most help me. I will endeavor to keep that in mind, over the next week, and see what happens, writing from that perspective.

Labor Day...

I took the opportunity to relax. Still, thoughts of THE PROJECT were ever present, and I found myself gathering more information. Tomorrow, I'll be doing a review. It seems overwhelming sometimes. Writing a story seems easy, now, in comparison. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm feeling scattered. This too shall pass. Blessedly.

Writing not forgotten...

Last night, I had a bit of family time, so posting was delayed. Writing was done for THE PROJECT both yesterday and today. The hero and heroine of my current WIP seem to be content to wait. Actually, it feels more like they're sitting center court watching the tennis game, curious about how long it will take and how it will all turn out. I don't know. Good to know that God does know. I'm hanging onto that.

Another page...

...only this one was more along the line of bullet points, things I want to include in THE PROJECT. Though I feel a certain level of fear, I'm also excited. I find myself smiling for seemingly no reason at all, and even humming or singing to myself.

THE PROJECT has started...

I've been carelessly collecting notes ever since I was given the assignment. Adding a little here and a little there, occasionally. Today, I wrote for only ten minutes, but then had to walk away because so much was rushing through my head. What I wrote would qualify as the opener, the pitch, the prologue, the introduction, the first page. It's a start.

I did come to realize that the struggle lies in the knowledge that my fiction is exactly that: Fiction, though I do use personal experiences. But writing them for my characters sort of makes it third person. My readers won't know what REALLY happened mixed in with what's fabricated. What's more, it's in third person, so it's more as if it happened to someone else.

In THE PROJECT, I'm feeling uncomfortably exposed. God help me. It's the only way.

Thanks Deena,

For asking about my current WIP. You're the first I told about where I am mentally right now. I started this blog to be accountable; I need to be accountable, especially now. There is another writing project sitting on the back burner. The last few days, I've wondered if I'm using my current WIP as an avoidance pattern, procrastinating starting that other project. This comes with my struggle to learn to be honest with myself. Must I choose between THE PROJECT or the WIP? I think perhaps not. I believe the two are meant to complement, but I have been using one to avoid the other. So, this week I am searching my heart and doing the homework I've been avoiding. What is it God needs me to be and do?

"Life is too short without laughter." I heard this on the radio, today, from a guy in Tennessee, and loved it!