https://themighty.com/2017/06/childhood-emotional-abuse-adult-habits/
2. I can't accept compliments.
My sister's response to the second:
https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2017/06/21/compliments/
There were two reasons for a compliment: Either it was to butter me up because "they" wanted something, or it was a setup to put me in my place with a follow up criticism. Sometimes I was slammed with both. A compliment was never innocent and always came with a catch, a price to pay. It was a battle to want to accept the compliment and wondering whether a figurative backhand would be included or a request. One was painful, the other was manipulative. I wasn't fooled by the pretty words. Either way, I always felt like I came away from the encounter a bit bruised and muddied. Compliments were always a trap.
I don't remember when, but I remember a lesson somewhere about the importance of accepting compliments. The teacher explained that blowing off a compliment or deflecting it diminished the gift being given. What I remember best was the teacher's directive, "Say 'thank you' and shut up."
I'm much better than I used to be. I've practiced and practiced accepting compliments with grace. I endeavor to give sincere compliments. I know the value of the gift of giving and receiving.
Sometimes, I still have to remind myself, "Say 'thank you' and shut up."
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