Manners...

Post at WordWenches: http://wordwenches.typepad.com/word_wenches/2013/01/manners.html

I thought it an interesting discussion. It isn't difficult for me to see the servant or gypsy learning. When I lived in England, I watched and learned. I like the unobtrusiveness of keeping the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right, but I also like how changing hands forces me to slow down. I use both methods depending on what my goal is at the time.

Manners are often used as a way to belittle others. I've seen people complain about someone's manners when they, in fact, committed the same faux pas. The urge to say, "Pot meet kettle" is almost overwhelming. Sometimes I don't resist.

Having a door opened for me and a chair held for me is a polite kindness I appreciate. Unfortunately, the whole "I am woman I can do it myself" has ruined it because men are afraid of offending. I've asked. I know there are those who will be offended by my perspective. I've stopped trying to please everyone. It doesn't work.

It's never too late to learn manners. I'm still learning.

Perhaps it's why I'm drawn to writing Regency. Manners were a must. I know it was used to delineate the uppercrust (which were often quite vile individuals) from the working class. The joy of writing Regency, rather than actually living in it, allows me to give it my own twist. I do try to keep it period correct, to an extent. I dislike having a twenty-century heroine dropped into a different century, without the benefit of time travel. If she's time traveling, then I expect her to take her modern thinking with her. However, too much modern thinking in a historical novel takes me out of the story.