Life Changes...

I hate when I develop a sense of knowing what I'm doing and where I'm going. You'd think I'd learn by now it was a sure sign life is about to change.

I'm really not adverse to change. Change is good. Change is healthy. Change is normal. Change is inevitable.

The change I don't like is the kind that leaves me wondering what comes next, particularly when it comes without any clue as to the next step.

Sorry, but naturopathy doesn't help with this. There is no essential oil or food or exercise or anything along those lines to light the way. This is a God thing. This is a faith thing. I don't know what the future holds is true enough; I do know Who holds the future, which is also true.

So, what's the trouble?

What is the future God holds in store for me? There are no promises it will be better than what I have now. It could be worse. I'm struggling. The way appears dark and forbidding. I will slide my trembling hand into the hand of God. I won't pretend it will be easy. I won't pretend I don't continue to be afraid. I know the dark paths I've traveled. I know how ugly life can be, even when one trusts God.

I also know God will see me through. He's okay with me crying and being afraid. All He cares about is me taking the next step, no matter how terrified I am. He knows what I've been through. He understands my fear. He knows it's earned. He entreats me to step into the darkness anyway and patiently waits for me.