No more revisions...

I went through all the required documents, today, endeavoring to make each the very best I could. Then there comes that feeling that nothing more can be done without chasing my tail. So, off it goes. Breathe in... breathe out...

All is in God's hands. Turning everything over to God is not my forte, but I am endeavoring to learn.

Tomorrow, I have plans to visit with one of my dear friends, in the morning. I'm looking forward to the gab fest. Then it will be home again and back to work. Book three needs to be finished, and there are two first-draft manuscripts in need of revisions.

Thanks to Funny Cat Photos for the heartwarming smile:

Revisions done...

It's late at night, really late. The book revisions are done. It's as good as I can make it, though assuredly not perfect. I'll take a last look at the synopses and query letter, and then off it goes. I try not to think about that last bit.

For future reference, note to self: I need to give myself more time for revisions. I forget how much time it takes to look up words, to be sure their era appropriate, and to find the perfect words.

Reminder to self: All is in God's hands.

Revisions, revisions, revisions...

I had planned to write the post ahead of time, writing out my plan for the day. However, I've discovered that I prefer waiting until the end of the day, and then reporting what was accomplished.

More than half the book has been combed for revisions. Nothing major has been changed, but I've found typos, and corrected them. I've also added a bit more, while cutting a few things, and of course the constant hunt for the perfect words.

Blessedly, my friend Constance Wagner called, this past weekend, and helped me make several revisions that were sorely needed.

One baby step at a time...

I finished the revision of the synopsis. I've glanced over everything, and it looks like rough drafts are done all around.

Today, I start in on revisions. Everything will be ready to submit, next week. I'm not as nervous about it. I'm not sure if that's because I'm that confident in myself, feeling that fried, or blocking out all the fear and anxiety. It could be any of them or a combination of all of them. :-)

I've no doubt that I'm making some choices and decisions that may come back and bite me, but I'm tired of living in constant uncertainty. Do I believe in what I'm doing or don't I? Am I committed to what I'm doing? Am I willing to trust myself? Do I trust that God will be there for me, no matter what happens?

I'm endeavoring to answer all those questions with a resounding, "YES!"

Continued prep...

Yesterday, I worked on the query letter, synopsis for the series, and the synopsis for the book, the last being the longest of the three. Completed first drafts are done for the first two, and the last is headed in the right direction. And the questions flood my mind. Is it good enough? Is it as good as I can make it? Is there something I'm forgetting?

Then I close my eyes, take a steadying breath, and remember that God planted my feet on this path. Though I don't know where it's going, He does. Even if it leads into a rocky way, God will be with me, and when I stumble He will comfort me.

Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."

Today, I will continue moving forward. I'll finish the synopsis. I'll review what I've done so far. I'll review what still needs to be done. I have a friend calling me this weekend, to give me some input. This will be ready by next week.

Feeling inadequate. I did a search through Yahoo for my website, and could only find references through my sister's site. Not good. If I can't be found, what good is all this? Feeling discouraged. Then I did a search through Google, and there I was. I need to rethink, re-evaluate, and make some changes.

Video for me....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ex33wtqnNz8

Its a 10-minute video by Diamonds And Heels. She is a beautiful, young model with severe acne, and by the time she finishes her makeup regime, you can't tell she has acne. Yes, I'm posting this on all my blogs, today. Why? Because it is a huge Game Changer for me.

I've often complained about how scarred my face is from acne. God, of course, has been listening, and apparently has decided I'm ready, even if I don't think so. God has taken away my excuse. God does that.

Now, what I haven't mentioned is how terrified this makes me. I've hidden behind the scars. People are uncomfortable looking at me. They don't want to stare, so they don't look at me at all. One cheek looks like there's a giant upside down "Y" on it. The fear has been building ever since I saw the video. Mind you, I haven't watched the whole thing, yet. I will before I post this. My stomach is rolling, as the fear has been growing.

Then Nikon Sniper posted Great Is Thy Faithfulness for the day, including this scripture:

Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling-- even the LORD, who is my refuge--
10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

So, I guess God can handle a bit of fear and some scars, too.

Took a break...

Yesterday, I helped a friend, and it helped me. I did work on my own project, starting the prep for the submission process.

I finished Cara Colter's Rescued by his Christmas Angel. It's one of my annual reads. Under the Harlequin brand it falls under Classic Romance. It was funny and heartwarming.

We'll see what today brings. Yes, I've changed when I post. I noticed all the spelling errors I had to correct, after posting, late at night, and hope to improve that little problem created by being tired. I'm also curious to see if looking toward the next day will help me plan a little better.

Yesterday wasn't one of my finer days, but then I didn't actually expect it to be. By changing up the day, I allowed for the fact that I was having a little difficulty concentrating. The project I helped on was something I could do in bits and pieces, rather than my own writing that requires solid blocks of time.

Dear God, help me to be a blessing.

Trying a different perspecitve...

I worry about income, a lot, for a variety of reasons. The problem is that sometimes my fretting paralyzes me. It fills me with dread, throwing doubt on my hopes and dreams.

Starting today, I'm going to try and live as if I'm going to die soon, so that money doesn't matter. This does not mean it doesn't matter if I go hogwild on a spending spree. I will continue to endeavor to be a wise steward with my sparse funds.

I know what I want to do most: I want to hunt my writing, as God has hunted me. Daily, without ceasing, without hesitation. He has sent me enough breadcrumbs to fill a bakery full of bread loaves that this is the path He wishes for me to follow. In truth, I have been pursuing my writing with everything in me, but I'm tired of the gloom that shadows the joy I find it.

May God bless you in finding your heart's desire and hunting it as He hunts you.

Revisions continue....

I'm actually having fun with the revisions. I'm finding better words, and checking words that I hadn't checked before because I didn't know about the entomology dictionary.

I've been thinking about how much I appreciate my Desert Rose sisters. When things turned upside down, they were there for me. Their encouragement and passion lift my spirit and keep me moving forward when I want to quit or simply don't know what step to take next. The laughter and camaraderie are priceless. I cannot imagine my life without them. It certainly wouldn't be nearly as interesting.

Funny Cat Photos:




No matter what my questions or concerns may be, I need only ask, and someone will answer. I'm endeavoring to learn how to pass it along.

Working on revisions...

I'm almost half way through the book. Different word choices, adding, cutting; more adding than cutting, but now I have more leeway. This time, as I read through I think in terms of what I want to be there, without thought of pleasing anyone else. The book is about 260 pages, so this hasn't been a bad day's work at all. I'll be back at it, tomorrow.

Other projects were also worked on, as set by my own deadlines. I'm currently on top of things. All I can do is keep moving forward, one day at a time. I'll be turning in earlier than usual, but I think it's for the best, today.

All is in God's hands.

Day Thirty of NaNoWriMo...

Since I met my goal, I didn't worry about word count, today. Instead, I focused on preparing my first book for re-admission. I understand the criticisms, and will be making some changes, though not a lot. I made it through seven chapters, so far. Five I'm happy with, and two need some tightening. I included back story that is there for me, but not needed by the reader, I think. I'm going to read and work through the whole thing, checking each chapter as I go, and then I'll back and focus on the chapters that don't work as well as they could. I can tell it's my first completed novel, and I've made a lot of progress in my writing. I'm enjoying reading it again, and cleaning up little odd bits and pieces.

I also worked on other projects. I'm still feeling a bit out of sorts. Asking God for breadcrumbs.

Day Twenty-Nine of NaNoWriMo...

1339 total ~ 50412 Whoohoo!! Made it!! With a day to spare!! Good, because I've had some other projects pop up in the offing, and I need to spend some time with those. I've learned I can do it, and I've learned some better ways for working that keep me in mind of how much I enjoy writing.

Attending my Desert Rose meeting this evening and had a wonderful time chatting and connecting and learning. I would never have made it this far without those wonderful, amazing women. I knew going that I wanted to chat with both Kris Tualla and Deena Remiel, and both of them were so incredibly helpful.

Thank you, God, again, for blessing me with the opportunity to associate with such remarkable people, who have taught me so much. I feel so blessed.

Day Twenty-Eight of NaNoWriMo...

3992 total ~ 49076 Wow... One day of trying the new method, and I doubled the number of words, in the same amount of time. Everything came so much easier. I knew what came next, and what had to be shared. It was fun. One day at a time. Besides the current WIP, I also added to some other things I was working on. I don't know if I've ever had such a productive day. This is so thrilling. Whoohoo! Thank you, God, for bringing into my life people that are such blessings. Please, help me to be a blessing, too.

Day Twenty-Six of NaNoWriMo...

1724 total ~ 45084 For the first time, I'm more than half way through my manuscript with no idea how it's going to end. Really. I do know what comes next, and that's enough. It's been interesting to notice that my stories struggle, until I write the material that is related to my work toward becoming healthy. Until this week, I considered all my writing interchangeable, by all accounts and purposes. It isn't the manuscripts are interlaced in ways I never expected. Taking a deep breath, and releasing, and turning all over to God. All is in His hands.

Day Twenty-Five of NaNoWriMo...

1839 total ~ 43360 Interesting. I was struggling with writing the next chapter, feeling unfocused and too easily distracted. One of my other blogs needed a post for tomorrow. I had been thinking about it all week. I knew what I didn't want to do. And isn't that the way of it? God so often asks us to do exactly what we didn't want to do. I took a couple of hours to pound it out, revise, and rewrite. Then it was done. And suddenly the next chapter started pouring onto the page, and the start of the chapter after that. It's so very odd. I feel like a cork was stuck. Now it's out, and everything is flowing again as it ought. All is in God's hands.

Day Twenty-Four of NaNoWriMo...

1736 total ~ 41521 A bit difficult to stay focused, today. But then being perfect is not the point of this exercise. It's to put the words down on paper. I have a much clearer picture of the story, and that's the idea. There's a reason it's called a rough draft. Happy Thanksgiving!! I hope there was time to reflect on the blessings in your life. This is my first Thanksgiving when I feel like I'm truly following my heart. I hope there are many more to come.

Day Twenty-Three of NaNoWriMo...

2124 total ~ 39785 Not a bad days work. I think I'll turn in a little early, and start in again in the morning. I think I've even managed to clear my head of ideas, for the moment. I know what's coming next, but I'm hoping I'll be able to leave it alone, until tomorrow. Thank you God, for friends who remind me of what truly matters. For friends who help me sort through my crowded thoughts. For friends who believe in me. For friends who lift me. For friends who have taught me about trusting in Thee. My treat for finishing earlier than usual tonight: Deck the Halls by Arlene James, one of my Must-Read authors.

Day Twenty-Two of NaNoWriMo...

2409 total ~ 37661 It's coming much more easily now that I'm writing for me. I have two more scenes waiting to be written, but I completed one tonight, and that's enough for now.

Had a lovely chat with a relative, this evening. Though it put me behind on my writing, it cleared up a lot of things.

I write for me, but writing the best possible story is for my readers. Good to realize.

Day Twenty-One of NaNoWriMo...

2026 total ~ 35252 The story is coming along. I'm not entirely certain of the details, but at this point, the goal is to finish. It won't be the first time I do revisions. In future, I want to map out stories. Yes, I want to be a planner, as opposed to a pantser. Actually, I'd like to combine them. I want a vague outline, so I have a fair idea of where things are going, but allow myself the flexibility of being a pantser. Pantser - Someone who writes by the seat of their pants. :-) Bless Mary, the contemporary has been checked for continuity, and seems to hold together well. And she caught a few mistyped words. Thank you! My best writing time seems to be from about 10 PM to 1 AM. Those naps are a blessing. So what do I do during the day? I catch up on blogs, review what I've written, plan and double check continuity points. For example: I realized that I'd forgotten my hero was wearing a cape, and that needed to be accounted for. In a story without magic, disappearing stuff is distracting.

Day Nineteen of NaNoWriMo...

1916 total ~ 33226 Still moving along. Today was one of those days when I wondered where the story was going to go. I fretted, and then I remembered that the goal is to put the words on the page. So, I relaxed and thought, "What comes next?" Ah. I knew what came next, but then I fretted about how I should go about it. Again, the thought came to mind, the goal is to put the words on the page, so I started to write. And as so often happens, once I started writing, the story told itself, until the next chapter was finished. I may end up doing a lot of editing, but it wouldn't be the first time, and won't be the last.

Visiting family arrived, and I wondered if it would through me off track. It did, a little, but not enough to worry overmuch.

I've arranged to chat with Kris Tualla, at the next Desert Rose meeting. We joined at the same time, several years ago. She's self-published, and is working with a publisher. She writes historical romance. Her mantra is "Norway is the new Scotland." Her heroes are Norse. She was repeatedly told that no one wants to read about heroes from Norway. She didn't fit the romance "formula." So she published her books herself. Her enthusiasm and passion are inspiring and contagious.

The future is uncertain, but only to me. God knows, and He is in control, and I'm learning to trust that assurance.