Back in the fray...

I worked out a bit of the timeline, and am moving forward once more. I discovered something unexpected: the villain of book 3. I knew he was there, but I didn't know who he was or how he would appear. Now, I know. In truth, I had thought it might be a her, and it's true enough that she isn't particularly pleasant, but she's small potatoes in comparison. A good bit of writing done, today.

Several other bits of writing were done as well. I'm learning so much. When I look at things in the context of what I'm able to learn from them, they take on a different appearance than I ever anticipated. I'm reminded that God's ways are not our ways.

A bit muddled...

There are days, and this is one of them. I spent most of my writing time working on clearing up details, and expanding what it already there. There is a scene coming, and I haven't decided how it fits in, yet.

The projects continues.

Again -- it seems every day -- I wonder what I'm thinking, and then I begin writing, and peace envelops me. All is in God's hands.

Good bit of work...

The writing is coming more easily for book 3, now that the timeline is settling. Of course, there are still changes being made as the characters reveal themselves. And a new character showed up! I had no idea he would be in the story. I don't know if he'll ever have a story of his own, but I do like him. He isn't developed much beyond a couple of sentences, but I suspect he's going to grow in importance.

The project is also moving forward. I was a little worried about where it would go from here, but that question was settled today.

I'm endeavoring to write in my heart that I am God's and I trust Him. I'm working on it.

Cleaning up...

Today, I cleaned up chapter 1 of book 3. With the new information I'd gleaned, this past weekend, there were a lot of things that needed to be explained, clarified, and changed. I'm much happier with it. I also needed more detailed information on a Sunday service, for chapter 2. Thanks to ((Mary)) for talking me through. Lots of notes, and I'll tackle chapter 2, tomorrow.

And the project is moving forward. I'm learning a lot about myself.

Back on track...

This past weekend, as I did some brainstorming, I realized that much of what I'd written for book 3 wasn't the beginning but toward the end. Chapter 1 stays, but the rest comes later. So I started a new chapter 2. This feels so much better.

Editing is coming along on book 2. My reader is finding a few typos, and making some great suggestions to make the story better. I'm also going through and cutting adverbs, either by choosing different words or cutting out the word. Sometimes, it seemed necessary at the time, but it isn't.

The project also continues. It's been a productive day. I'm so grateful for the inspiration and encouragement God gives me.

Rethinking...

I don't seem to respond well to overt pressure. The number of words I'd hoped to add is nowhere near the mark. That being said, it hasn't been unproductive. In fact, today, I realized that I'm rushing to the point of losing the story. So, I stepped back, pulled out the paper and pen, again, and fine tuned my heroine. She needed some necessary changes, because she simply wasn't right the way she was coming out on the page. There are a lot of things that fit, but there were little things niggling at me. Then I opened the document, and started at the beginning, carefully combing through the story, line by line. In the fourth paragraph, I realized that my POV was confusing, but couldn't figure out how. I've spent the last three hours fighting with it. Then it jumped out at me as if it were in glaring neon lights. One sentence in the paragraph switched from her POV to mine! Eep! A bit of rewriting, and what a difference!

New goal: Write as much as possible every day, keep track of the word count, and trust myself. And no beating up on myself.

My counselor tried to explain something I needed to work out: "There's this boss who is always criticizing the employees, telling them how bad they are, reprimanding them for every little infraction. This boss never lets up. There's always some way things could have been done better, faster, smarter. This boss even calls the employees nasty names. Why would anyone want to work for such a cruel and brutal boss? Especially when there's this other boss available. This other boss is gentle and patient. This other boss expects the employees to accept personal responsibility, but recognizes the value of each employee. This other boss encourages and acknowledges and rewards a job well done. Which boss would you rather work for?" Funnily enough, at the time I thought: I'd know how to respond under the rotten boss, but not the good boss. Then my counselor asked, "When are you going to fire the rotten boss and let the good boss take over?" I stared at him, and then blinked. Then it dawned on me that he was talking about me! I'd learned the unkind lessons so well I was still practicing them! He wanted me to learn a healthier way. Then he took it one step further: God isn't a mean boss. Jesus asks us to love God and our neighbor as ourselves. That's not the guidance of a mean boss. I'm still struggling to be a good boss to myself. It isn't easy since the old methods were beaten, literally and verbally, into me. But with Jesus as my teacher and guide, I will learn to be a good boss.

Some days...

...the thought of crawling back into bed and pulling the covers over my head seems like the best possible plan for the whole of the day. My thoughts are scattered, but the day wasn't a complete loss. I found and corrected some details in what I have written so far in book 3. Though not many words were added to the document, I spent quite a bit of time with pen and paper. This is a good day for that kind of thing. Whenever I feel stuck, going back to writing by hand seems to open the flow of creativity. It also appears that I've reach that point in my writing when I've written enough of the beginning to want to know where it's going, and the ending is starting to form. It needs to be written, and then I'll go from there.

I'm taking some emotional risks with the project, and it makes me nervous, uncertain, a little afraid. But I've promised myself to be courageous, so I'm taking the risk. All is in God's hands. I pray my awkward stumbling is used for good.

Helpful blog...

Today, I checked out Abby Fowers' blog, Something To Write About. Today's post was titled I Hate Adverbs. She included a handy-dandy adverb diagram. And I realized how many adverbs I tend to use. I spent the day searching the first half of book 2 for "ly" words. Some I deleted because they were filler. Many I was able to switch a few words, but sometimes I had to re-write several sentences. Between The Project, the editing of book 2, and some of the details I added to book 3, I wrote over 1,000 words. I'll be able to stay on top of the book 2 edits now. I have to remind myself that first drafts aren't meant to be perfect. They're a good starting point.

Only 1,000 added...

Though I only managed to add 1,000 words to book 3, I'm not unhappy with my progress. I realized that I have reached that point when I have to shift from writing linearly to writing scenes. It actually frees up my creative process, when I no longer require myself to stick to a straight line. I've also made some decisions about the plot, what needs to be there and directions that simply will not work for the story.

More editing was done for book 2, and The Project continues. As long as I'm writing, all is right with the world. I feel at peace, and am more than happy to leave what I cannot control in God's capable hands. Otherwise, I fret. I know that God is in control, but I wonder what else I could be doing, should be doing, need to be doing.

It works...

I'm not perfect about turning off the internal editor, but I'm doing better. And it shows. The goal currently stands at trying to add 1,000+ words a day, but this week I'd like to add 10,000, over the whole week. Today, I added 1,300. I'll need to do better, tomorrow. I'm learning. Other projects are also moving along.

I'm endeavoring to trust God to take care of those things that I cannot. I'm especially working on: Thy will, not mine.

Turning off...

...the internal editor isn't easy, and yet it's vitally important when first writing the story. Finding exactly the right word won't matter if the whole story isn't told. I don't know if I'll have to work at turning off the internal editor each day, or if I've managed to do so for a while.

And so it goes...

When I look at my word count for book 3, today, it looks okay, but it isn't quite true. I moved an entire section from book 3 to short story 4, and a whole section to the notes of book 1. It simply doesn't fit anywhere. Maybe a later book... I'm not going there, right now. LOL! Chapters 1 and 2 are finished, and much of chapter 3, and chapter 4 is started and outlined in my head. I'm stopping now in favor of an earlier bedtime. I'm endeavoring to learn how to take better care of myself, that includes eating healthy, exercising healthy, and sleeping healthy.

Who am I that God is mindful of me? I am His.

And so it begins, again...

Book 3 and chapter 1 is done, I think. Chapter 2 will be tackled, tomorrow. I'm becoming more familiar with my own writing style. I like to make chapter 1 and 2 as good as I'm possibly able. Everything goes from there. A few other scenes are briefly outline, already. It takes a little time to become comfortable with my new characters, to where I feel like I know them well enough to share them properly. I'm looking forward to this story unfolding.

When I'm writing I feel more at peace with God, and His plan for me. I'll repeat this often. Somehow I seem to lose sight of it every morning.

A little more each day...

More of The Project is filled in. Another chapter of book 2 is edited. And more has been added to book 3. I've also worked through some details, like the heroine's age, a few dates, and how to present them. I think chapter 1 is done, which introduces both the heroine, and the hero through the heroine's eyes. Chapter 2 is the beginning of the story from the hero's point of view.

I'm endeavoring to trust in God and His plan for me.

A good day...

I worked on The Project, for a while. Thanks to my reader's help, some excellent editing has been done of book 2. I also added to book 3. I'd worried a bit, because my brain is still only partly engaged... hmmm... I made bread, today. I don't know what it is about baking, but it helps me with my writing. Both are gifts from God. I would not have survived my life without God. The gifts remind me of God's goodness and awareness of me. He thought me good enough to entrust me with abilities that are suited to me. Making bread feeds the body. Writing feeds my soul. Both help me not simply survive but thrive.

9/11 ~ Remember Always

Never forget.

My heart whispers that God sent angels. The God who is aware of a single fallen sparrow did not abandon His children in their hour, their moment of need. Jesus, who endured Gethsemane, the betrayal of his friends, the mock trial, the lashing, the crown of thorns, and the Cross on Calvary, suffering and dieing for the sins of the World, understands injustice, cruelty, being alone, to a depth we will never comprehend. He loved us so much He was willing to go through it all, even if it had only been required for one soul. He endured for all. No matter how alone we feel, God weeps with us, as only a Loving Father could. He understands perfectly. The purpose of life isn't to avoid pain, but to grow through the pain, closer to God, closer to the light He intends us to be to the world, living light, shining with His Love for the World.

So many souls went Home to God, and so many more have been required to continue on in this life without those precious ones. And despite the horrible evil that occurred, so many people chose good, chose courage, chose strength, chose compassion, chose love. So many people chose to be a light of hope in the darkness. Darkness does not extinguish light; light pushes away the darkness. In a darkened room, with a single candle, the only way to extinguish the light is to blow out the candle. The dark cannot overcome the light, unless we allow the light to be put out.

I choose the Light.

I choose to remember the brave men and women and children of 9/11.

I choose to honor the memory of all those who have lived and those who died endeavoring to do what's right and good.

I choose to be a better person because I know the stories of brave souls I have never met.

I will never forget.

Research...

I've spent the day looking up material and brainstorming about where the plot will go and when. I've started outlining and the first two chapters. It's a stormy day, so the computer has been off for a while, in deference to the lightning. I'm feeling a bit scattered, anyway, so it feels like God is reminding me to step back and look at things differently from time to time.

A bit brainless...

There are days like this. I'm not beating myself up over it. I've learned that if I'm brainstorming it's better to use unlined paper. If I'm writing an outline, then it's better if I used lined paper. It's important to recognize how one's own creative process works, and not try to fit into some preconceived mold.

Editing continues on book 2.

The Project also continues.

Characters... can't live with 'em....

As I struggle to work on book 3, with James, Jamie in book 5 keeps needling me. I'll be doing research on James, and Jamie will ask, "Well, what about..." Is it to help James? Oh, no! Jamie wants to know more about his back story. No matter how many times I tell him to wait his turn, he nudges me with another question. I've tried putting him off, and stalling with other things, but as soon as I turn my attention to writing again, there's Jamie. "What about me?" No matter how often I promise I'll not forget him, he is wholly unwilling to wait quietly in the wings. Maybe I need to bargain with him... I'll give him equal time... Ah, the insanity of being a writer... :-) It's fun. Really, except when the characters are being pesky... like Jamie... LOL!

A little bit of everything...

I've started mapping book 3 and book 5, which will follow the short story that I also spent a little time expanding. Book 5 isn't part of the first three, but does have a character that was introduced, only briefly in book 2. It's stand alone. I love series that have characters from other books. It's like an inside joke. My dear friend also edited the first two chapters of book 2. I love working with her. She notices little things that add so much to the story. She'll request something that I think can't work, and I'll explain why. Somehow, in the process I figure out how to make it work. Thanks God.

Always more to do...

Book 2 is off to my first reader. I had planned on taking a break. I did; yesterday. Today, I had stories running through my head, again. Yes, stories, as in plural. I had two ideas, book 3 and another. So, I took up pen and paper, and jotted down the ideas, including a bit of brainstorming. This whole week will be spent on prepping for book 3, but I'll not ignore any other ideas that come along. The joy of having a writing notebook, a place to keep all the ideas.

The Project is also moving along, and I'm learning a lot from it.

Editing has begun...

I've only edited the first few chapters, and made some corrections and additions. I've been a bit scattered, today, so I hope I concentrate better tomorrow. I accomplished quite a bit in everyday things that needed doing. Maybe having those things out of the way, no longer worrying about needing to do them, will help me focus. We'll see.

Draft one is complete...

The first draft, beginning to end, is done. For the next two days, I'll read through it, to see if it holds together, see if there's anything missing, and probably add more. But, for all accounts and purposes, it's finished. And yet, it isn't. Funny, as I write each book, the story doesn't really end in my head. I still imagine the rest of their lives, though not in the same detail as when I write the initial story. It's like the characters become a part of me... well, they actually are a part of me. I want them to be happy and fulfilled. One of the nice things about writing is that I'm able to do exactly that, give them a HEA.