I want to be bold...

As I explore who I am, who I'm willing to be...

Interesting. Hadn't thought of it quite that way before.

Does it really matter who you are? If you're unwilling to be that person?

I've spent my whole life trying to fit a mythical role. From time to time (more often than I care to think about), I slip back into the habit. It's familiar. It's easy.

Choosing the easy way was a habit, because my inner life was anything but easy.

An abuse survivor's inner world is a mass of chaos and turmoil.

This has me reviewing my early admonitions: Stop lying, especially to yourself.

Oh.

As I've struggled to become comfortable with myself, the professional writer, it has mostly been about being honest with myself. When I first created my author's blog/web presence, I felt a tug-o-war with wanting to be who I've fought so hard to be, myself, and yet knowing I needed to create a brand and please a publisher.

The more I become acquainted with Desert Breeze Publishing, the more blessed I feel to have found a company where I feel I belong as an author. I've been working with my editor, and I'm grateful for her. She is bringing out the best in me, or at least I want to be my best. I'm working on it. There's so much to learn.

I've been making some changes the last few weeks, ever since the writers' conference.

Looking back, I'm able to see I'm endeavoring to be bolder.

Being bold is a trait quashed first thing in every abuse survivor. Predators loath boldness in their victims, which is why they have to crush it. It may present a challenge to some, but the end-game is to destroy it.

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." ~ Thomas Jefferson

To question with boldness, one must also live with boldness.