As Ladyhawk Baggins, I could be whoever I wanted to be.
Who did I want to be?
Ladyhawk was willing to take risks, and yet she was strangled by fears.
People like my writing.
Really?
Really.
I started chatting with different people on the various threads of conversations.
All these people knew nothing about me, except what I told them. I endeavored to be as honest as I knew how. I revered the truth, but hadn’t yet realized how much of my life was a lie. I did the best I could. I pushed to try harder.
Game Changer: One of the people on the board lived close to me, and we decided to meet. I’d created an email account as Ladyhawk Baggins. My safe account.
Our first outing was meeting at a theater and watching Fellowship of the Rings together. What an incredible experience to attend an event with someone who loved the whole experience as much as I did. I didn’t have to tone down my responses. We laughed at the same places. We cried in the same places. We jumped in the same places. She was a lot younger than me, and we didn’t have a whole lot in common, but we both loved the movies, and it was delightful being able to share that enthusiasm without being shushed or subjected to eye rolls.
I was allowed to be myself.
I remember feeling pretty nervous, too, about my first meeting with a fellow fan who lived close by. But it worked out well and that led to other meetings with more fellow fans at the Ren Faire that established lasting friendships. Being allowed to be yourself really does give one the confidence to try new things and discover more about yourself!
ReplyDelete:-) One of these days, we'll meet.
DeleteFor sure! And without being nervous, hopefully, lol!
DeleteAs often as we've talked on the phone now, I think being nervous would be kind of silly. ;-D
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