Though my dog and my horse had wrought changes in my life, I still lived on the surface. By this time, I'd been through two counselors, both of which never heard about a lot of things. I didn't see the point of bringing up stuff that was all my fault. I couldn't bear the thought of having any more blame laid at my feet. The burden was already so heavy.
I became a transcriptionist, in the late 90s. I was terrified by the internet. I had purchased my big, fat, Dorland's medical dictionary and the current prescription drug book. However, after calling the Reference Desk at the library -- for the third time in less than a week, because my drug book didn't have what I was looking for -- I had to re-evaluate. Each time, I asked them where they'd found the information. Each time, they told me, "The internet."
The internet was dial-up and free. I only used it for work research. Nothing else. Ever.
Then a major marker: 9/11. I felt connected to the world in a way I never had before. I'd lived in Thailand and Europe, but never had I felt the world was so small as I did on that day. I mourned with millions. I knew it changed everything.
A decision was handed to me: Do I continue to live the way I always had or did I make a different choice?
I wanted to make a different choice, but I had no idea what or how.
The turning point: December 2001 and seeing The Fellowship of the Ring.
My world exploded, but in a way I had never imagined.
I am an avid fan of Tolkien's works. Learned to write as I read him. Such fun!
ReplyDeleteI've had two counselors. The second was awesome. She finally shoo'd me away. You don't need me anymore. Bless her heart. She also gave me extreme encouragement as far as writing is concerned. I owe a lot to her.
:-)
DeleteThe right counselor is amazing. I was blessed to have three good ones.