Writing put on the backburner...

...but only for today. I had a wonderful opportunity to participate in America's Divine Destiny and took it, albeit over the internet. Thank God for computers and the internet. What a wondrous blessing. I felt uplifted and inspired. And I remembered a quote that my walking buddy reminded me about only the other day. "If God is your co-pilot, trying changing seats with Him." Thus far in my life, I haven't truly been brave enough to turn over the control. I pray I am brave enough now, because I want more freedom, more choices, and they come from God.

Ebb and flow...

A torrent yesterday and a drizzle today. Only managed a little editing, but it did need to be done, so I'll not complain.

I've been following quite a few other writers on their own journeys, and find it inspiring. There's a comfort in knowing one is not alone, especially not alone in a difficult struggle, whatever that might be.

From long ago, I remember a story of a statue of Christ without hands. I googled it, and was amazed to see that there are statues of Christ, all over the world, without hands. In each case, the meaning is the same: We are Christ's hands. In His life, He taught by example. How much have we learned? It shows in what we do.

Wow...

That scene I mentioned yesterday is definitely more fleshed out, today. I started, and the next thing I knew more than a thousand words had found their way onto the page. This is fun.

Today's quote is from Vivian Greene: "Life's not about waiting for storms to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Here's to learning to dance in the rain! And thank God there are so many remarkable people willingly sharing the inspiration that has touched their life, so it might touch the lives of others, like me.

Inspiration...

Chatting on my walk with my walking buddy, this morning, I found myself remembering a specific event that I knew would fit into the current WIP. What's more, it fits into the very next scene.

In my study on honor, I'm learning that it encompasses many things. Coming from a home where even the simplest of courtesies was not taught, let alone values and principles such as respect, compassion, and honor, my search for honor is multifaceted, and requires that I become more than I have ever been before. What comes naturally to others because it has been ingrained since babyhood I am struggling to learn and incorporate into my life, now. There are days when I feel hopelessly uncouth, and other days when there is a glimmer of potential. I hang onto "I only truly fail if I fail to rise each time I fall."

Scattered rain....

One letter makes all the difference. What I'm feeling is scatter brain. One little letter changes everything. Writers don't only struggle with plots and characters, sometimes it feels like a fight to the death for exactly the right word. Feeling like my wits are anywhere but here makes gathering enough focus to write even a single word beyond difficult. I know what comes next in the story, but can't decide how to reach that point from where I currently am. Do I allow my heroine to draw us there, or the sister to lead us along? I have dialogue for both. Hate when that happens.

On an encouraging note, David Barton posted on FB a list of scriptures about honor, with the intent that it be the focus of prayer. I'm taking it to heart.

Editing...

The importance of self editing came through as I re-read what I wrote last night, namely the final word. As I glanced over what I'd added, I found myself gripped in a double-take because the word I thought it was wasn't what I'd written. My computer didn't question it. I looked it up in the dictionary, and was told I might need to try an unabridged version. Oops. Not what I intended, I think. I can't even be sure. A different word choice was decided on, and then I happily moved on in the scene since I'd been mulling over the story all day and found a pleasing direction.

Friday...

I'm having the vision trouble typical of an oncoming migraine, so keeping it short. I wanted to be able to stick to my goal to write six days a week, and managed to add a little more. Not a lot, but it did make me smile, an interchange between the heroine and the hero's sister. These are people I'd like as friends.

Christ, the perfect example in all things. The thought of how much that encompasses is a bit staggering. However, this is the first time I've wondered about his perfect sense of humor. I've often complained about God's sense of humor, more specifically when it seemed as if it were at my expense. That little bit of whining out of the way, I must admit that in those moments, I did laugh. It was usually my pride that took the hit, that being my self-righteousness/arrogance. Not a bad thing, just unsettling.

Words fly...

I open the document, my mind completely blank of where the scene is supposed to go. I look at the last line, and write the next. Suddenly, there are a few hundred words added, and I'm laughing at myself.

Decided to do a quick web search on honor and found the following at dictionary.reference.com : Honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions. Integrity: Adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character. Moral: Of, pertaining to, or concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct or the distinction between right and wrong. Ethical: Pertaining to or dealing with morals or the principles of morality.

That could all become very stuffy. Now why did that come to mind? Is it true? Or is it remembering those who professed to adhere to such ideals too often saying more but acting less. Perhaps, too often verbs are made nouns by Men. Christ was a doer.

Rain kept me away...

...but it wasn't a bad thing, as I finally finished the current scene and started the next. I've always enjoyed the writing process, the way characters have of taking you places you never planned or imagined.

It's interesting to find things overlapping in my life. I've been contemplating humility and came across this scripture: Proverbs 15:33 "The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility." Am I humble? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Funny that I also turned to Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction." So at least I'm not a fool, because I don't despise wisdom and instruction. One definition of humility is being teachable.

How does all this relate to writing? If I want my characters to be humble and honorable, I need to know what it is and how to portray it. For example, to create God-fearing characters, I first needed to know that being God fearing means loving God.

Breaks really do help...

Working on the WIP, today, I learned something new about my hero. (His sister spilled it.) This is so much fun. I should probably move on from this scene, but it's been a blast writing.

Today's reflection on honor is from the Bible, specifically the New International Version. Proverbs 22:4 "Humility and the fear of the LORD bring wealth and honor and life."
~reminder to self: early translation of fear of the Lord meant love of the Lord.

Review type of day...

I went over notes for the current WIP and the one to follow. Made a few notes, added a little, solidifying characters. The next one isn't going to be easy from what little I've written already.

Honor: synonyms honor, homage, reverence, deference mean respect and esteem shown to another. Honor may apply to the recognition of one's right to great respect or any expression of such recognition, ie, the nomination is an honor. Homage adds the implication of accompanying praise, ie, paying homage to Shakespeare. Reverence implies profound respect mingled with love, devotion, or awe, ie, great reverence for my father. Deference implies a yielding or submitting to another's judgment or preference out of respect or reverence, ie, showed deference to their elders. In addition, see honesty.

This is beginning to clarify what I am endeavoring to learn and understand.

Creating names...

...is not one of my favorite aspects of writing. I've come to the realization that my hero has a nickname. It was relatively easy, but his buddy's was more difficult to peg. I sit down to write and think there's nothing there in my head, and the next thing I know several hundred words have been added to the page. I feel blessed.

Honor 9 plural: social courtesies or civilities extended by a host, ie, asked him to do the honors
10a (1): an ace, king, queen jack, or ten especially of the trump suit in bridge (2): the scoring value of honors held in bridge -- usually used in plural b: the privilege of playing first from the tee in golf
Decided to post two at once, since though I understand them, they don't apply to the understanding I'm seeking on the subject.

That being said, I found the following an arrow to the heart. In Diane Gaston's Regency Romance Chivalrous Captain, Rebel Mistress, she quotes Tacitus: "That cannot be safe which is not honourable."

Even a smidgen of progress...

...is still progress. Didn't manage to accomplish much, but trying to be positive, and I didn't completely ignore the writing. Thoughts are scattered.

Honor 8a: a keen sense of ethical conduct: integrity b: one's word given as a guarantee of performance
Ah, here is where I start to struggle. I understand the concepts, but I fear I don't always practice them. Sometimes I say I'll do things and then don't follow through. I'm endeavoring to be more careful about what I commit to do. Now, the question begs to be asked, is it now a matter of my lacking honor, or is it about me not being perfect?

Other days...

...aren't so bad. The PTBW was done in a reasonable amount of time, a regular work-type day. I'm building on the WIP and finding out things I never knew or guessed about my hero and his best friend. I only hope I'm staying true to men in general, and my characters in particular. It feels good to be writing consistently.

Honor 7: chastity, purity
That I understand.

Some days....

...feel like falling down the rabbit hole. Though the PTBW wasn't long technically, it was slow going. It isn't finished yet, and won't be until I call for some clarification, but with offices closed, it must wait until tomorrow.

No brain left for creative thinking, but did work on the other writing project a bit. It's been nagging. That should tell me something, if I were willing to listen. I am teachable. I am. I'm working on it, anyway.

Honor 6: an evidence or symbol of distinction: as a: an exalted title or rank b(1): badge, decoration (2): a ceremonial rite or observance c: an award in a contest or field of competition d archaic: a gesture of deference, ie bow e plural (1): an academic distinction conferred on a superior student (2): a course of study for superior students supplementing or replacing a regular course
Straightforward enough, and I also understand this. It also isn't really pertinent to what I'm studying, but again helpful in helping me recognize what I'm not searching to learn.

Tidying up...

Did a bit of neatening before continuing. I find it interesting that as I explore honor, in depth, my hero is fleshing out more clearly. To me, a hero isn't a hero without honor. And yes, I've read books where the hero/heroine was less than honorable, and didn't like them.

Also worked on another writing project. A bit unexpected that, but satisfying, too, since it's been niggling at me.

Honor 5: The center point of the upper half of an armorial escutcheon
What?
armorial: of, relating to, or bearing heraldic arms
escutcheon: 1: A defined area on which armorial bearings are displayed and which usually consists of a shield 2: A protective or ornamental plate of flange 3: the part of a ship's stern on which the name is displayed
Oh.
Definitely not pertinent to my exploration, but thank you Merriam-Webster. It helps to know not only what you mean but what you don't mean.

Unexpected discovery...

Reading a book I don't enjoy is not inspiring. Not even a little bit. In fact, it's quite dampening, all the way around. Unfortunately, there are times when being tenacious is a distinct disadvantage. I keep reading hoping the story will improve. I'm more than half way through. So far, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I am becoming more choosy in my reading material, which is helping. If the book isn't finished, tonight, it's still finished. Starting over fresh, tomorrow.

Honor 4: one whose worth brings respect or fame: credit i.e., an honor to the profession
I think is where my concept of the definition begins to waver. I've seen too many lauded as a credit to their profession, and yet evidence suggests they aren't honorable at all. That being said, I do know people who are truly a credit to their profession, exhibiting the best qualities, the traits you would want in the professional you would want on your side in a time of need. Perhaps, I'm finding myself mixing it with those professionals who lack honor but have gained fame, and too often there are too many who hold fame in higher value than honor. I understand this definition, but it needs a lot of refining before it fits properly.

TGIF...

I think I'm falling in love with my hero. And he's fighting falling in love with my heroine. It's fun to watch. I'm amazed by how the story seems to be unfolding more easily. I start to write, and the next thing I know there are several hundred words on the page. It's a joy.

Honor 3: a person of superior standing --now used especially as a title for a holder of high office.
I understand this, but don't think it really applies to my personal study. There are too many who hold a high office who have no honor, no matter what label you stick on them. Perhaps I need to ask instead, am I worthy of such a title? Don't know yet, but then this is what this exercise is all about. But it also falls into the category of "is there enough evidence to convict me of being Christian?" I'm working on it. Perhaps a lifelong process, but I hope to have enough evidence soon, if I don't already, and then add as much as possible.

Long work days...

...make for very little writing. There simply doesn't seem to be much of anything left, after a heavy work day. I did add a little to the WIP, but even asking the characters what comes next gleans little more than a blank. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I did make a change I'd been thinking about, so hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to see what comes next.

Honor: 2: Privilege
Yes, I understand that one. Today, I noticed the date for the word first being used is the 13th century. I'm a bit confused by that since I know honor is a concept found in the Bible. The first thing that comes to mind is "honor thy father and thy mother." Maybe it's specifically the word "honor" as we know it in English. It is rooted in Latin. It's so easy to become bogged down in the details that don't really matter. But unless one is willing to explore the little details, it is difficult to find those hidden gems that are so easily overlooked by a quick glance.

Half way through the week...

I've finished my two busiest work days, and feel it. I want to curl up and do nothing. However, writing is a priority, so I've already spent a little time on the WIP. I do enjoy watching where my characters take me next.

My life did not turn out the way I planned, not even remotely, but I am coming to terms with the reality. I'm also finally accepting that God's plan was far better than mine, and immeasurably kinder.

Starting today, I'm going to explore honor here, little by little. I'm hoping that by investigating a little at a time, I'll better grasp the concept. Nuances are easily lost when clumped into a large whole. Pizza is yummy but only because of the combination of a multitude of ingredients. The Merriam-Webster definition: Noun 1a: good name or public esteem: reputation b: a showing of usually merited respect: recognition.
Okay, I understand that.

What happens after...

After I posted yesterday, I went back to the WIP, and oh wow. I added a thousand words. Unexpected and very encouraging. Today, I did a bit of re-reading and editing. I'm tickled with it.

Work isn't finished yet, so it's back to that, but I wanted to be sure I dedicated some time to my writing. Deciding to post here every day seems to be working well toward nudging me to write consistently. I love it when a plan comes together. :-)

My trust in God is growing, slowly but surely. I'm endeavoring to more fully accept His peace in my life. I still don't trust myself to follow His lead, but I believe more fully it will come, in time.

Missing but not ignoring....

With all the storms we've had, I decided to turn off the computer for the weekend. It has all worked out for the best. I didn't realize how well I wasn't feeling, until I'd slept for almost two days. I'm feeling much better now. I spent time this afternoon writing, and am pleased with the progress. Then I remind myself that there is probably an editor out there that will require cutting the bits I love. Cut and paste is a wonderful thing. So it doesn't fit in one story, it may fit in another. Trying to be optimistic.

I'm exploring the concept of honor. I know God has honor. It's a word thrown around a great deal, but growing up as I did, I've come to realize that I don't really know what it is. I know it's important to have. I know it needs to be a part of one's character, another word I'm learning about. What is character? I know what "a" character is, but what is character?